Serve Others - All Comments

re: A Matter of Trust

Steve Duncan — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:26:44 GMT

Thanks for the recommendation John. I just ordered "Living Buddha, Living Christ" for a few bucks on half.com. I'll check it out and then pass it along to my friend and co-worker that lent me the Lama Surya Da book. When I tried to give it back he suggested I pass it along to someone else. Now I'll pass something back to him. (:

re: A Matter of Trust

John Robbins — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:33:20 GMT

I'm probably wearing out my welcome in this thread, but I can't resist tying Steve's point about the importance of love & reaching out to John Edwards with love to Gwen's reference to Thich Nhat Han. And so, a quote from TNH...

"When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable."

Also, further to Steve's combining of Christianity and Buddhism in his life, and not to make this a Thich Nhat Han love-fest, but TNH wrote a book called "Living Buddha, Living Christ" that you might find interesting or, better yet, helpful.

re: A Matter of Trust

Mike Robbins — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:40:03 GMT

This is really an amazing string of notes containing political, theological, philosophical, psychological, and literary elements and beyond; and all immensely personal. Yes, it is extremely important to pay great attention to what we become attached with the understanding that we do need to be attached. It is to each other - to another person rather than things - that we attach (commit) while recognizing the impermanence of this earth. That should motivate us to act in ways that are beneficial to those relationships, to ourselves, to others. As indicated above we are all human and, as such, flawed by definition. Many of us strive to minimize those flaws and try to learn to overcome or mitigate them while others may try to hide or deny them. Our faith must be directed beyond ourselves and each other. Our expectations of each other can be high but of human proportion. On the golf course, duffers such as me are advised to consider another club or another approach if the shot required would have to be the greatest one we have ever made - or imagined - though Tiger could make the shot on one leg and with a garden shovel; there are few Tigers among us and even they are not perfect and do not shoot under par and win every time out. We seek spiritual and other direction to help us prepare and preserve our individual selves in order to bring greater value to our commitments. The higher the level of commitment, the greater the sense of pain, disillusion, and shock when that commitment is violated. It is at those times, however, when we most need to lean on and rely on each other; we need to collectively buoy each other. We must help each other and always remember we are all humans and no one of us - neither politician nor pastor - has all the answers or will ever be the ultimate savior (either lower or upper case S). We should have great expectations - most so of ourselves - but all must be appropriate in scope.

re: A Matter of Trust

gwen — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:27:08 GMT

On August 11th, I read your comments for the first time. I’ve thought about your words ever since. Even though there are fewer words, they are meaningful ones. We all read the words, but each of us, most likely, hears and interprets them differently.

When I was growing up and even sometimes today, believing in someone the way I wanted him or her to be has broken my heart. My mother told me often, “you always put so much faith in everyone you meet and then you become hurt and disappointed because they are not all that you made them out to be. You must remember no one is perfect, we are all human.” My mother gave me many words of wisdom but even more than that, she has shown me her deep Christian faith everyday of my life. By example, she’s taught me that if I listen to my higher power I will find peace. With that peace comes the understanding that most of humanity is good but not perfect and I need to attend to my own affairs, not those of others.

Last night Ted Kennedy left his hospital bed to walk on stage at the Democratic National Convention. The crowd cheered and became emotionally involved – some wiping back tears as he approached the podium. He began his 10-minute speech by saying, “nothing, nothing is going to keep me away from this special gathering tonight.”

Have we forgotten the 1969 incident in Chappaquiddick or have we forgiven him?

Despite the terrible mistake John made, I still believe he is a good man who loves his family. I also believe he cares for this country and the people in it and he will continue to work for the greater good.

I also have many flaws and have done many disappointing things. I know there are those who have forgiven me, those who one day will forgive me and those who never will. Through those mistakes I hope I’m learning a little more about the true meaning of life and compassion for others. My faith in my Higher Power is stronger today than it has ever been. Though I’m still learning, I am listening more with each passing day.

My Yoga instructor is teaching me through the words of Thich Nhat Hahn:

“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, in our entire society, can benefit from our peace."

It is up to each of us.

re: A Matter of Trust

Steve Duncan — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:40:23 GMT

Kevin, from your post it sounds as if you identify with Peter and fear losing faith in our political leaders and system...sinking into the morass as Edwards has done. However, you close by saying that we are all flawed and to trust in any one “man” or individual understates our own role.

I agree. When times and events are so troubling to the soul I feel it’s of great comfort to look upon faith. On my nightstand is the “Awakenings the Buddha Within” by Lama Surya Da and I’ve been attending a local UCC church when I can. My faith journey has been almost non-existent most of my life. In college I would “sit” with a group of Buddhist in Durham. My primary reason for attending any church is the result of a promise I made to my grandfather on his deathbed.

Like you in the small chapel built by slaves, I often feel the spirit and hear the words of the Lord when I go to church. Last Sunday our regular pastor was on vacation we had a guest speaker...a very interesting individual and ex-pat from Pullen Baptist in Raleigh (which I’ve been to occasionally and is, significantly, within walking distant of my house). Our guest speaker communicated that it was the words that troubled her in most organized religious services. This is an principle which intrigues me and one reason I’m drawn to the introspection of the Buddhists. There were very few words in this service, mainly music and singing...and it was quite inspirational. At one point there was reference to 1 Corinthians’ 13...I’m sure you’re familiar... “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” It’s been a part of most every wedding ceremony I’m been to in my life and I bring it up for a reason.

While we fear losing faith with politics and its leaders, can we not still love them? Perhaps we should learn from our spiritual forbearers and love Edwards and help him heal his dark heart which has been revealed for all to see.

re: A Matter of Trust

Alisa — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:22:41 GMT

Amen to your first post, Kevin.

And here's some suggestions of what to get excited about: celebrating the beauty of the moment, of day to day life. There is immense beauty in your kids, friends, families, even at work - especially at work if you find meaning in your work (which I think you do). If you love nature, that's also great place to find it. Get excited about your faith and the strength it gives you to get through disappointments. Of course we should celebrate victories, and often failures are triumphs in disguise, or victories turned inside out - perspective, perspective. It IS all relative, but that doesn't mean we have to lose the beauty of each moment by averaging it with all the others.

John, I loved the iced Coke analogy. Thanks for the enlightening stories.

re: A Matter of Trust

John Robbins — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:37:22 GMT

I don't think it's a question of what we should get excited about. It's about attachment. Buddha talks about emptiness; nothing has a permanent nature, everything arises because the conditions are right.

H2O might be a good example. H2O does not have a permanent nature of being liquid, gas, or solid. If the conditions are right (two hydogen atoms combine with one oxygen atom) then H2O occurs. If further conditions are right, i.e. the temperature is below 32 degrees F., then the H2O is solid. if the temperature rises, the H2O becomes liquid; still higher, gas. When one of the hydogen atoms gets knocked off, the H2O no longer exists. There is no permanent thing called H20, and H2O's nature is not liquid, and not not liquid. Not solid and not not solid.

Suffering arises from attachment because the thing we are craving for or trying to hold onto is by nature impermanent and when we can't obtain it or it goes away we experience pain.

You mentioned The Middle Way. The Middle Way isn't about avoiding extremes; that's moderation. Following The Middle Way doesn't mean you shouldn't take ice in your Coke. It means you shouldn't be attached to iced drinks and get angry when you go the freezer and find out the last person didn't refill the ice cube tray.

Caveat: I've barely taken one step down the Eightfold Path.

re: A Matter of Trust

KTrapani — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:34:26 GMT

Great comments. Thanks. As I was growing up, my dad used to frustrate me (much, probably, as I frustrate my own kids now...) by frequently saying upon hearing about something I was excited about, "Things are never as good as they seem. Then again, things are never as bad as they seem." Of course, he said the reverse when something went wrong for me. Invariably, I'd get angry with him (boy, do I regret that now...) because he'd never get very excited, good or bad, about anything. John, I guess the Bhuddist in you might call that "The Middle Way."

So, aside from Jason Lezak's amazing finish in the 4X100 free relay in Beijing on Sunday night, what kids of things should we get excited about?

re: A Matter of Trust

John Robbins — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:11:04 GMT

With respect to John Edwards, the Buddha said:

"Pay no attention to the faults of others,

things done or left undone by others.

Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone."

With respect to faith in the Lord, I offer this:

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.

"Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.

"Maybe," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

"Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"Maybe," said the farmer.

With respect to both elements combined, I offer this: Leo Tolstoy, "War and Peace"

re: Democracy at work: The Iowa results

Mack — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 07:48:47 GMT

you are missing some important message in this black man won a Presidential preference caucus in a white state.I've known John and Elizabeth for quite a while and I know them to be absolutely genuine... I'm glad that came across to you.That's why it's so important for those of us who are engaged in the process to bring others along...

Mack

<a href="www.treatmentcenters.org/iowa"rel="DoFollow">Iowa Treatment Centers</a>

re: Serving Homeless Veterans

Kerry from Los Angeles — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 05:34:11 GMT

I, too, have been inspired mightily by the vision and energy and simple mission articulated by Phil Mangano: end homelessness. We are going nowhere fast by managing it. I love how you've incorporated this mission into your work at the Y. I think he has planted, is planting seeds all over the country that are sprouting. I hope the new president sees fit to continue him in this role.

re: Democracy at work: The Iowa results

ama — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:46:36 GMT

<a href="http://www.singhalaya.blogspot.com">singhalaya</a>

re: New Year's Resolutions

Alisa — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:19:44 GMT

It is wonderful that Kevin and Dan are thinking about these things. How many priveleged, influential Americans walk through life oblivious to these issues - either ebcause of ignorance or choice. Thank you both!

re: The Most Courageous Speech Ever Given...

Alisa — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:16:46 GMT

I am moved by the whole blog, and even more so by a CEO of an amazing organization who cares enough to do this!

re: The Most Courageous Speech Ever Given...

Ilina Ewen — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:15:12 GMT

Wow, well put. I am in awe of the similarities between that troubled time and the state of discontent right now. Hopefully last night's results will take this country in a direction that would make King and Kennedy proud.

On another note, it is wonderful to see a CEO blog that is authentic, meaningful, and well written. Thanks!